5 reasons to put your marriage before your kids

She said WHAT? Yes, you heard correct. Spouse before children. I know, they’re adorable little creatures, and it’s been jammed in our heads from the time we found out we were pregnant, “it’s not about you anymore, it’s all about that baby!” Well, in a sense, this is true. Because I honestly don’t love waking up to a screaming baby at 3 am. But, someone has got to do it, right?  Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t have boobs, so, that person, is me. YAY! 

However, it is so important that between the softball practice, schoolwork, sibling rivalry and the like, to never put your marriage on the back burner. I’m guilty, I’ve been there. Waking up one day like, what the hell have we been doing? Sure, we love our children to the moon and back, and they’re cute as heck! But, we’ve learned to prioritize our marriage, before them. Now, don’t be an extremist and not feed your children because your husband wants to have sex. Please people, use your better judgment. However, don’t put off alone time with your spouse, even if it is 10 solid minutes, just because your Mr. Whiney Mc Whinester, is being a Mr. Whiney pants. Prioritize. 

1. The kids are going to eventually move out. That adorable toddler is going to grow up so fast, and a few years before they move out, won’t want anything to do with you. If you lose focus, let the flame burn out, and live thinking they’ll always be around (some will tho..Good luck with that!)  you’re in for a rude awakening. Take a minute, imagine your house completely quiet with just you and your spouse. What will you have to talk about? I sure hope it’s more than pediatrician appointments that no longer exist. 

2. You’re in a relationship with your spouse, you’re guiding your children. That’s right, guiding. Because eventually, as stated above, they will get their own lives and hopefully have a loving marriage to mimick. Not just roommates who revolved their world around little people. Children need to see how a marriage works while they’re young. Otherwise, they’ll be clueless and odds are, not do well in a marriage. 

3. Because romance is important. I honestly cannot think of anyone who got married with the thought I cant wait to forget about you. No one wants to feel like a “roommate” with their spouse. Affection, compassion, attention…all necessities within a marriage. Without them, what do you have? 

4. Self centered kids grow into self centered adults. And then we’re left to deal with them. Nuff.Said. 

5. You need to know each other. We are all constantly growing and even learning new things about ourselves. You cannot spend 20 years ignoring each other and expect to still see the same person you married. Sure, the difference shouldn’t be too significant, but there will be a difference and its your responsibility and duty, to be aware. 

Tips? I know with little ones, time is limited. So, fellas just grab her butt as she walks by. When kids aren’t watching, of course. (That’ll be difficult to explain.) kiss her forehead. Spend 10 minutes in bed before officially waking up. Make it a priority to spend 10 minutes at night to talk before you fall asleep. Close and lock your bedroom door, (given your kids are old enough to be unattended for a short while) and just hang out. It’s hard, it’s work, but once you get into a groove, it all falls into place. Some days you will lose sight, but never lose hope, because tomorrow is always another day. Now go kiss your spouse! 

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